BUFF Daddy

If I have you as a friend on Facebook or if you follow me on Twitter you would have seen my big announcement that I made the other day. I am going to be a Father. Now I know what your all thinking that " Him.... A Dad? NEVER" But I'm going to be a great parent. Not looking for any sympathy but not having a Dad, no infact having a complete wanker of a Dad that I've never met is going to drive me to be the best Daddy I can. I am genuinely the most excited I've ever been, its going to be a massive journey for me on the way to maturity.....Could take a while.

Celine and I have known about the pregnancy for nearly two months now and its been really hard to keep a secret from all our friends and family. We wanted to wait until we had the 12 week scan before we would tell anyone. My life changed forever while I was in the middle of nowhere in Hungary. I hadn't spoke to Celine in a few days so thought I better give her a phone to let her know that I'm alive. The previous phone call from me ended in me bawling my eyes out in a phone box in Dresden, Germany so I was determined to keep the tears at bay and just have a normal conversation. Ohh how that plan went to fuck. I'll remember those two words for the rest of my life..... "I'm Pregnant". BANG knees to the floor in a bubbling mess. I wasn't sad though, I was completely ecstatic. When I got my shit together and manned the fuck up I said to Celine that I would be home as soon as I could. From that point to Istanbul not even the biggest mountains or strongest headwinds were going to wipe the smile off my face. I was cycling like a man possessed to try and get back home as soon as I could. That day I done 134 miles and felt like I had done 10. Now that it's all out in the open now I have been telling everyone. "Hi.... Im going to be a Dad" Literally like that. Since the scan it all feels so much more real so I've decided to get my act together and focus on bringing on my career to a new level of awesomeness. 

I am currently group personal training at what I believe to be one of the best boot camps in Britain, if not the best. Fit Body Boot Camp has let me train thousands of people to getting the best results of their life's. I am still taking 30 plus sessions at FBBC any that is interested in getting in the best shape of their life boot camp must seriously be considered. With the baby on the way I will be putting a lot more time and energy into developing my own career as a personal trainer. Anyone in Glasgow or Edinburgh that wants to look amazing and start a transformation can contact me, my details are at the bottom of this post.

Up until two weeks ago I had done no exercise since coming back from Turkey. So i have decided to set myself some new fitness goals. I want to transform from skinny cycling guy to buff muscular guy. And no before anyone asks I'm not becoming a body builder I have just decided i would like a more athletic physique. I would be happy with filling a medium t-shirt instead of the baggy small ones I have. By the time our child is born I AM going to be known as BUFF DADDY. That means that there will be a lot less cycling, by a lot less i mean virtually none. For a while at least. Since coming back from my trip I have had no motivation to get on a bike so I'm not going to force it. Instead of racing at the Scottish Cyclocross (I use the term racing very loosely) I will be there for support only, cow bell in hand!

 I am very fortunate to be in contact with three of the best independent personal trainers in Edinburgh. Let me introduce you to the team of experts that is helping me reach my BUFF DADDY goal......(drum roll)... Tom Robertson, previous health club owner and strength and conditioning extraordinaire. Matt Lazenby former competitive body builder, sweet potato specialist and lover of a nice female bottom(and occasionally male bottom). Last but not least owner of Shadow Box Fitness, Robbie Inman, has the best abs in Edinburgh, and nutrition buff. These three lads have been giving me tons of advice on training and nutrition. If your ever in the Scotsman Hotel Spa and you see four guys with little tuperware boxes with chicken, broccoli, rice or sweet potatoes thats 99% going to be one of us. check out all their websites add them on facebook ONLY if your A) not a fud and B) up for looking at hot girls bottoms. If you want to contact me about my transformation or Personal Training or you just want to give me some sort of lump sum for nothing get in contact with the details below.

Much Love
Chris
cbarr90@hotmail.co.uk
07532423182

I Can't Believe It's All Over

Well let's just start by saying that this was fucking epic. I've only been away 3 weeks but it feels like 3 months. I think because I've seen so many amazing sights and met so many people that it feels like a lot longer than it actually has been.

Glasgow - Istanbul in 3 weeks is no easy ride. You know it's not like me to big myself up AT ALL, but I have gave myself a good old pat on the back for what I've accomplished. And yes there has been blood sweat and tears, a lot more tears than I really want to admit but fuck it, I think I've earned a good old greet.

The first 5 days of being away I genuinely didn't even think about being back home, I was on cloud 9 just pedalling along whistling and generally just having a great time. After those 5 days I can't really tell you where it all went wrong but for the next 10 days I was mentally in a really bad place. I couldn't get myself going in the morning in my increasingly smelly tent and the weather through Germany and the Czech Republic didn't help much. It rained and rained and rained then throw in a bit of wind and there you have the perfect weather to completely destroy any cyclists morale. I knew I had to keep going, not as if I could just turn round and go home. I kept telling myself "it will get better" "man up you pussy" ha that worked a little. Its second nature for me to motivate people, I need to be good at that for work, motivating myself came a little harder but I eventually got into a good place and started to have fun again.

With the bad spell out the way it was time to start enjoying myself and have some fun. I didn't do this trip to be miserable for 3 weeks. It pretty much all changed in Prague, what a great city. Pain in the arse to get to but once you get there it's amazing. I checked into the first hostel I seen just to get out my smelly clothes and get a shower. The hostel was amazing, met loads of people who were all doing different adventures through out Europe. Did you know people actually still hitch hike? Like a lot of people. Each to there own but fuck that, I'll stick with my sore legs and bleeding arse over getting slain by some mental trucker. Anyway... Everyone shared there stories about where they've been and what they've done it was quite refreshing to hear that not everyone had been partying and having an amazing time which I thought every person travelling done.

Off into eastern Europe I went. I was expecting western Europe to be the highlight of the trip and eastern Europe just to be average. I was completely wrong on that one. Romania, Bulgaria and turkey are the 3 nicest countries I've been EVER!! The hospitality of all three is nothing like you would get in the uk. In Romania I knew I was about a week away from Istanbul so decided it was time to book a flight. I asked this random couple if they knew where an Internet cafe was to book the flight. Turns out everywhere is closed in Romania on Saturday aswell as Sunday. They kindly invited me to walk 5 minutes with them to there house and I could use there Internet. I got the flight booked and was ready to leave and they asked me if I wanted to stay the night, so I could get a shower and have a proper bed to sleep in. I was gobsmacked, completely shocked. I accepted there offer and it turned out to be one of the nicest nights of the entire trip. Got showered, took the dog a walk along the river, went out for dinner then watched a movie. It was the happiest I had been in a while and Adi and Amy if your reading, thank you very much, you made Romania one of my favourite countries. The kindness in Romania didn't stop there the next day I was cycling through a little village that runs along the Danube river, and this family stopped me on my bike. At first I thought FUCK I'm in for some trouble but then the father came over with a little tray of bread and the kids were filling my water bottles up. I sat for about half an hour with them eating and me trying to explain that Scotland isn't in England. Amazing families and such a friendly country. (apart from the wild dogs, there cunts!)

At this point my days were flying in. I was happy on the bike and feeling strong. Then I saw mountains with snow on them in Bulgaria. At first I just laughed it off, then they got closer and closer and closer. By now I felt amazing on the bike. I was doing around 120 -130 miles a day. A silly little hill with snow wasn't going to change my mood. Not this close to Istanbul. Just south of Sofia the road started to point up. This was the real challenge I had dreamt of. So for a day and a half it was 3 hour climbs up averaging about 7mph going up, soon as I got to the top it was the biggest smile on my face for about half an hour flying down these mountains. Checking if the road behind was clear so I could move out to take the racing line through corners. It was fucking amazing. Very dodgy with the way I was cycling but that's what made it amazing. The longest run I didn't even have to pedal was about 6miles (10km) the mountains are so rewarding. You know once you climb up you get to fly down. Headwinds on the other hand...there's nothing rewarding about them. Thankfully I didn't have any real headwinds through Europe until the end.

Istanbul is the most beautiful city I've been in but also the most mental. There are so many cars, everywhere! It is the scariest place to cycle. I eventually had to stop and just push my bike on the pavement. It was chaos. I was walking pushing my bike along the street literally laughing like a little kid to myself. I couldn't believe I had actually made it to Istanbul. I was over the moon. I could have easily taken a 4 hour flight from Glasgow to Istanbul, it would have been a million times easier, this was meant to be a challenge. It was soo much harder than I thought it was going to be. The mountains I could climb, not very fast, the headwinds I could cycle through the hardest challenge was all in my head. I've found out a lot about myself since leaving Glasgow. People said it would be life changing but I shrugged that off, I didn't really think it would be. It has really taught me that I take too much for granted. How happy and hospitable the people I've met has inspired me. Going to make some big changes as soon as I get home.

I recommend that everyone goes travelling one year instead of going on a shitey boring 2 week piss up. Go and see a bit of the world. It's surprising how much you can see in such a short time. Even if you think it's not going to be for you give it a try I can guarantee you won't regret it. I definitely want to go traveling again. By myself? No! By bike? Hell fucking no!! My next adventure will involve some sort of automobile.

Hope to catch up with everyone in the next few days. First I need to go and lock myself in the house with my darling girlfriend for the next 2 days :) so don't phone me! PEACE!

ZEEEE GERMANS!!!!

Fuck do the Germans know how to build a road, a cycle path for that matter?? Well it's got nothing on Holland! I've started to ignore the cycle ways and just stick to the road unless it's an autobahn. Yesterday (Wednesday) I done 96 miles from the German border near Nordhorn to osnabrück and about 15 of those were spent fannying about in the rain trying to get directions. I got to Osnabrück a broken man and my arse was killing me. Today (Thursday) I left Osnabrück at about half 8 and am now in some random field next to a river about 2 miles from Hanover city centre. Today was a great day on the bike another 102 or 103 miles. I thought Hanover would be about 85 but I went the long road which followed river paths and that turned out pretty good. Anythings better than the fucking stupid cycle ways in and out of any decent sized towns!

I had a lovely 2 course meal tonight. For my main I had pasta with a huge dollop of pesto it tasted absolutely fabulous, compliments to the chef. For desert I had half a bag of haribo, also fabulous. I found an Aldi yesterday so stocked up on pasta and nutella, well some cheap shite Aldi version of nutella and I swear a piece and nutella every 20 miles is like rocket fuel. I've not spoke to anyone from home today I couldn't find anywhere with wifi and I do feel a bit lonely. I'm trying to tell myself to man the fuck up but that's hard when youve cycled near 500 miles in the opposite direction from all my mental friends and family and let's not forget my wonderful girlfriend. Celine.... My tent smells funky and there's crumbs everywhere...what do I do?? Haha!!

love and miss all of you will get this uploaded the next chance I can. Speak to you all soon.

Love me

Amsterdam - Germany Via Some Pretty Shite Weather

Well I'm in Germany in some sort of sandy quarry and I can almost guarantee that I'm not meant to be here.

My impression of Europe in summer was wayyyyy off mark. When we arrived at the port it was chucking it down. I was optimistic and wasn't going to let that ruin my mood. Well my spirits were high for the best part of 2 hours when I arrived in Amsterdam with the Julian and Kim (a French couple I met) I was freezing and felt like shit so I decided fuck it I wasn't cycling anymore that day. We found a campsite just outside the city centre and managed to get in and get all my clothes dry with the hope that the weather the following day would be better. (which it was)

As the saying goes when in rome do as the Romans do that was enough persuasion for me to go into Amsterdam and try the local delicacies. After a while in a great wee "cafe" I went a walk round Amsterdam to see what all the fuss was about. I have never seen so many bikes in my life. The full of the Netherlands infrastructure and roads were clearly made with cycling a higher priority than driving. The full time cycling in holland I was on 3 or 4 roads max and only for half a mile at most. When I got back to the campsite I met loads of people who are traveling around Europe some by bike. I met 2 brothers from Dundee who are planning to cycle to Nordkap or Nordkat I can't remember which one it is, anyway it's the most northerly point of Europe and both there bikes were falling to bits, so good luck if you get a chance to read.

I slept like a baby, maybe something to do with some cakes I had haha. Anyway I got up early and made breakfast, weather wasn't to nice but at least it was dry. As much as I have loved cycling in Holland I probably wouldnt ever cycle in Amsterdam again it's complete chaos. The roads are complicated and it doesn't help with crazy Dutch bastards riding around texting and holding umbrellas it's mental. After about an hour I managed to go round in a few circles and get out of Amsterdam. Once your out of the city your flying, the cycle paths are pan flat and smoother than a baby's arse. I had heard that Holland was flat but it wasn't until today I realised how flat, the biggest hill I had to go over was about 10ft and that was to get upto a bridge. I got 102 miles covered, I was determined to get into Germany today and I'm about 2 or 3 miles in from the border. I'm glad to get in a hundred mile day, even though it was as flat as a first year! Still a hundred miles though :)

I'm going to get up really early end get the fuck outta here. Don't fancy meeting the people that work here in the morning. The plan tomorrow is to cycle about 15 miles to Nordhorn to buy a road map of Germany. The whole idea I had of getting to Istanbul with no map was insane. Don't know how I thought I'd manage it. I should be in Germany for the next 4 or 5 days I think, I just randomly picked those numbers btw I could be here longer I've no idea.

Another great day on the bike today was in such a good mood peddling my wee heart out. Going to dominate the German roads tomorrow and try and get another 100 miles in. Hopefully not too many hills though.

Much love
The (not so) Hairy Push Biker

Goodbye Britain. First Leg Over

Well that's the first leg of the journey over, nearly over should I say. Need to sit about for 4 or 5 hours to get on the boat. Couldn't post yesterday because my phone ran out of battery iPhones are definitely not made for life on the road by push bike.

Yesterday I rode a little under 77 miles from galasheils to a town just outside Newcastle called Ponteland. I had been looking for somewhere to camp for about an hour and decided enough was enough I was putting my tent up the next field I came across. Turned out quite good as I found a cricket and rugby field so just casually pulled up flung my stuff over a hedge and put my tent up. Didn't sleep very well though probably for the fact that I was a mile away from Newcastle airport. All good though McDonald's coffee sorted me out this morning.

About an hour into my ride yesterday I came across my first sign post for Newcastle. Newcastle - 70miles instantly brought a massive grin to my little baldy face. So to celebrate I got off the bike took a couple of photos and waved like a fanny to passing lorries. It's the little things like that that might not seem much but it's been keeping me smiling and laughing along the way. A couple of hours later I was at the Scotland - England border this was an obvious place to stop and have a rest and take some more photos. My favourite picture yet, the "FUCK YOU ENGLAND" picture. Ps. It was taken by an English motorcycler he saw the funny side of it. He was a nice guy but I told him to get a real bike, one with pedals and shit. It's weird but about 10 miles splits apart the last town in Scotland to the first one in England and the difference in accents is so strange and I still don't quite get it. The accents got more and more Geordie like so I knew I was going in the right direction. Overall good day on the bike again just excited to get into Europe now and deal with whatever it has to throw at me. A special thank you to the woman at the knowesgate inn about 15 miles outside Ponteland for letting me do a shit in the pub without buying anything. She let me break the rules cause she thought I was mental for cycling to turkey. Another shout out to the 2 gentleman who cycled with me from Newcastle city centre to north shields to get the ferry, they said they were going to look up my blog so if you do, thanks a lot lads.

It has felt like more of an adventure so far than I thought it would but I think it will get more adventurous when I'm off the boat. Really looking forward to tomorrow even though the weather in Amsterdam looks shit. Just need to get some magic mushrooms, I've heard they can make the weather turn nice! (joke btw,) just incase Jintys reading again. Stay posted and thanks again for all the support online.

Life On The Road. Kirky - Galasheils via the Tweed Valley

Day 1 has been the most exciting surreal day of my life. I may aswell start from the beginning.

So got up pretty early this morning, and me being the most unprepared clown known to man had to go and get my money for my trip. Not as exciting as it sounds but I made the poor woman open the shop up half an hour early and told her I was leaving for turkey in 45mins which obviously was a complete lie! But hey ho first nice person I met today.

So my actual day started off by going to my grans for some breakfast and to say goodbye! Whoever said a full English is the wrong food to start off 8 hours of cycling is a lying bastard! I was like Lance Armstrong.... Well for the first 2 hours anyway! I stopped for some lunch and gave my girlfriend Celine a quick phone call to let her know I was ok. Thought I'd take another quick pic of some big ass cows and leaned against what I thought was a normal fence...nahh!!! Just my luck first electrocution of the trip! Ended up on the middle of the road in fits of laughter though!

I got to Peebles then decide that I was in need of some Coffee. That new cafe has nothing on the hub, was full of those silly mountain bikers with full face helmets! Helmet by name helmet by nature! Loaded with caffeine and cake on I went. About an hour and a half later I got to Galasheils pretty broken (sad face) in the hope of finding a campsite that someone had told me about earlier. I chapped the reception door and the devil herself answered! Such a creepy creepy old woman took me into her house which was absolutely reaking of cat pish! She tried to charge me a fiver for putting my tent up next to a chicken coop. Was I fuck paying that so told her to leave it, long story short she took £2.15 off me and I still think I got shafted!

I've not went mental yet.....BUT just for a laugh from glentress onwards everyone that said hi I replied with "howdy partner" in a shite American accent. One of those ones "you had to be there" the reactions in there faces was enough to keep me smiling, and peddling!

All in all an effing superb first day, now I'm in my pokey tent which from now on I'm calling a house to try and make me feel a little better! I'd like to say thanks for all the nice messages I've been getting on Facebook and twitter they have kept me sane. So bed time for moi my tinned chicken curry and undercooked rice have hit the spot! Next stop Somewhere outside Newcastle

BITCHES BE SLIPPIN!

AGHHHH!!! Turkey here I come!!

So I leave for my cycle to Turkey from Glasgow tomorrow. No big deal just pedalling the length of europe for shits and giggles! Ahhh hmmm NOT!! Safe to say I am proper bricking it!!! I'd love to say I'm all prepared and training has went well but......prepared isn't a choice of word I would use. Well I have googled Amsterdam to Istanbul and printed that out haha! I'm going with it will be more of an adventure if I don't actually know where I'm going , that and I am a complete lazy bastard! As far as training goes I've cycled from Edinburgh to Glasgow twice and pedalled from my flat to lenzie train station which is a massive mile away haha! Would love to use more swear words to describe my shambolic preparation but I got my testicles kicked off my gran for the amount of potty mouthed shenanigans in my last post! She watches countdown so shes articulate n shit! Agh well I'll be somewhere in Europe so she can't give me into trouble. 😄 love you Jinty

The adventure of a lifetime begins, there only so much Bear Grylls and Mark Beaumont documentaries that I can watch before going mad. The long road to Istanbul awaits me, hopefully meet some amazing people and see some amazing sights. I was thinking of ways to stop or fight back if I get mugged then I realised if I just open my mouth and speak that the glesga accent should be enough of a deterrent for even the most hardened European wanker-thieves!

Get on my just giving page if you haven't already donated www.justgiving.co.uk/chrisbarr90 and help me raise some serious dollar for yorkhill children's hospital.

Before I leave I'd like to thank all my friends and family for supporting me (well apart from the occasional "why not just go to turkey for 2 weeks ya knob" comments). As soon as I'm back were going to party hard even with all the blisters on my arse!

Anyway got to go and cry in the toilet and tell myself I'm a big boy and big boys don't cry! OUT! bitches be slippin (just for you J)